(Source: chemistrywithoutknowing)

Yes, and so I’ve been making lists of things to do to keep myself on track but this week in particular has been bad. I just feel really tired and there were just times I just wanted to stone and do nothing. 

I haven’t been drawing for nearly 2 weeks which highlights the negative side of army, lack of freedom and personal time.

I just kinda want the course to end so that I can do whatever I wanna do.

• Personal statement for UCAS. It’s a constant refinement process so it’s best to start early.
• Re-venture the portfolio. I’ve always liked using ‘adventurous’ words, makes the whole process seemingly more fun and exciting.
• Read. I’m gonna buy Susan Cain’s book on introverts and start reading, followed by Ned Vizzini’s ‘It’s kind of a funny story’which I’ve already watched the movie and I enjoyed it. 
• Saving up and learn to be thrifty. I’m pretty set on traveling so that’s already an absolute amount of spendings. Besides that, I still need a new laptop and stuff. My pay alone won’t be suffice so I’m planning to do freelance to earn extra cash. It’s good experience though, because I’m learning to deal with my own expenses, bills, transport fares etc.
• Develop on hobbies. Things like cooking and learning music, I can start from the small things, instead of being too ambitious. But of course, all these should not be my priorities yet. 
• Make a travel list. Set targets and aim to reach them.
• Learn to focus. It’s okay to be spending time alone just to do what you love. 

Yeah, so many things to do and I think I have a lot of unrealistic goals at the moment but I’m gonna have to start somewhere and I’m sure if I work hard enough, I’m going to get somewhere. It really matters as much as your determination and desire takes you.

Spent the entire saturday noon napping. The irregular sleep I get in camp really tired me out I guess.

Other than that, I’m pretty determined on traveling and later I’m gonna draw some stuff. Happy happy.

So, finally the ASOS items have arrived. I’m not too sure if I actually like the color of the bag, it seemed different from the web but the shirt’s fine.

Been feeling so tired lately and I ended up spending the entire Saturday gaming, watching Kick-Ass and napping. I feel like I’ve wasted the entire day :/

So many things happened recently and I’m just trying to adjust to it. I don’t really know but at least army’s been keeping me occupied, my mind especially. Sometimes I just feel really sad because there’s this weird lonely feeling which I don’t tell anyone. Sometimes I really do try to make friends but I just get really tired after a while. There are just some things that you can never explain no matter how hard you try.

I’m gonna make plans for myself. Draw, watch a movie every week, Portfolio once in a while, save up for things I want to buy, save up for traveling (Yes, Travel is a must within these couple years), learn new things (Music, cooking etc.)

I guess my birthday wish would be to grow as a person, commit to what I want to do in life and be happy.

Draw. Draw. Travel. Live.

21st Birthday is coming and I’ve got no plans. Whatever.

Just watched “It’s kind of a Funny Story” and I really liked it.

I guess it just spoke to me because I wouldn’t say Craig is super depressed; its just mild. After spending five days in a mental ward, he realized the importance of cherishing what he has and that hasn’t been the case for me.

I worried a lot. I worried about being too quiet. Thinking too much. Uni Applications. What if I don’t make it. What if I’m not creative or talented enough. What if I’m being too unrealistic. What if I ended up being a laughing stock pursuing Architecture. What if.

I guess having no one to talk to really screwed me up but that doesn’t mean everything is a mess. Even if they were, running away or stressing up would never be solution at all.

Besides, I have a family, sure my family’s not perfect and that stresses me up too but I still have them. I can still do something about my future even if it’s kinda messed up now; some people don’t even have the doors to opportunities that I have now. 

Even though it was just a movie, it woke me up a little. Sure, I’m not going to wake up tomorrow feeling like everything’s gonna be alright. Some days are going to feel stressful and depressing again. Things don’t change overnight.

But over time, they do.

manpodcast:

This is a good place to start with William Powhida, the second guest on this week’s Modern Art Notes Podcast. This is his Some Criteria for Evaluation (2013), a 22-by-15-inch drawing in graphite and watercolor. 

On this week’s program, Powhida discusses new work he’s exhibiting at Charlie James Gallery in Los Angeles. The gallery has made available a PDF catalogue of the exhibition. 

Powhida’s work typically engages in a pointed critique of the art market and the institutions and individuals who are part of its ecosystem. 

How to listen: Download the show to your PC/mobile device. Subscribe to The MAN Podcast via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or RSS. See more images of art discussed on the program.

(Source: natashakline, via teachingliteracy)

Inking on my last book.

(Source: angelofmusic1870, via missmusicaltheatre)

Time to repack and get a fourth and final notebook, probably a red one.

Things that make you happy.

I looked so ugly I’m so embarrassed. Anyway, that was O and Me and we had such a fun time, crashing at her house and non-stop singing for half a day :) Sorry I had to make her play guitar and piano all the time either, I just can’t play either.

On the other hand, things I really want to do this year:

• Travel alone for some soul-searching. Needs planning too since it’s my first time.
• Really, really plan for uni. Especially the back-ups. Other than that, my main goal would be AA since I’m not too hopeful for UCAs.
• Do my best for what I really want. Life’s much more gratifying and fun in that sense. Stop whining so much and be more matured about things.
• Go back to TP and find Ernest soon.
• N used to write in my notebooks randomnly and that was just a page of what she wrote. What she wrote:

” Most importantly, things happen for a reason, although sometimes you don’t know them, things will eventually lay out & chances to opportunities will present themselves to you. Don’t worry too much because there are better things to do, better things to see, better things to explore.”

Life will get better.

• The Bartlett books have been my constant source of inspiration. To be honest, I am pretty sure I will never make it to the school. Nevertheless, doesn’t mean I can’t gain anything out of their books :p
• I’m going to try for AA instead but more importantly I need backup plans. Backups are superbly important.
• It’s funny how I have issues sleeping in camp yet none when I’m at home. I’ve been feeling tired so easily recently, I don’t feel like doing anything at all :(
• Had an awesome time hanging out with O and sang for nearly half a day. I hate my own voice. oh my god I felt so embarrassed when she played it in front of her sisters and their boyfriends. -.-

Brainstorm.